i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
