There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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