We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Soap is not a condiment
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
