you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
