Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
