Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
