you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
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