ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize