I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
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