Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
