we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
