I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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