i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
Just drug him and when he wakes up say "You just woke up from a coma, we've been married for 5 years." It'll be like The Vow but fucked up.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
