My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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