Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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