marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'm just crazy horny about you
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
