my vag is so smooth its legendary
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
