NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
