butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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