I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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