She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
then he tried to convert me to islam
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize