Can Purell be used as lube?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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