I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
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