after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
