i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
Randomize
