I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize
