In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
is that a dick in a sweater?
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize