I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize