I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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