In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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