Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
