Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
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