even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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