i just wanna soil my oats bro
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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