hell yes lets make some ravioli
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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