I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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