I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
