He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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