Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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