even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
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