I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
