people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Randomize
