so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ttyl tear gas
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
