listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
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