Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
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