Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Randomize
