Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
Randomize
