I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize