You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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