take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
