Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
