Whod you bang
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
PS: I just woke up from my shower
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
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