the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
