VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
I hope mine doesn't look like that
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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