That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
