I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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