we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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