i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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