I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
