White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you didnt know i had herpes?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
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