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Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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