UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
