i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
They are going to name an STD after you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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