Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
Randomize
