Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
