i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Say something about gay babies.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
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