Don't you send me to vm
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
